Agents and the Shield
by griggles
Summary: Captain America leaves his shield with FitzSimmons for a night so they can study it. Naturally, Skye and Ward decide to steal it and have some fun. SkyeWard.


**Hey guys! This is my first foray into the Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D world, it's just been on my mind a ton recently. Great show, great characters, just a fun idea I had the other night and wanted to actually write. No firm time on it but let's assume it's beyond the current point in the show. Anyway, enjoy!**

* * *

"For scientific purposes only," Coulson warns, eyes firmly directed at Skye, "this is not a toy."

All she hears through her canyon-wide grin is "this is a toy."

* * *

She's stalking their little clear science cube as if a lion waiting to pounce on... well... not a gazelle. A much better lion? Or would it be two gazelles holding some sort of golden baby gazelle? She silently scolds herself for letting her mind wander like this. Her task is too important. She can't stray at all, even an inch. She wishes she'd paid more attention when Grant described the importance of a clear and focused mind. She wishes she didn't have to kneel behind an errant rolling chair like some sort of animal.

"You know they can see you, right?" He asks from behind, startling her far more than she'd care to admit.

"Can and do are two very different things," she argues, "they're so lost in their work right now I doubt they'd notice if Thor bashed their heads in with his hammer."

"Which kind of negates the benefit of kneeling," he deadpans.

"It's for the effect ok?" She snaps.

He rolls his eyes and joins her on the ground, earning him a quiet smirk. He notices.

"It's for the effect," he jokes. She gives him a playful slap.

"How are we going to do it?"

"Do what?"

"Take it! We only have it for," she glances at her watch, "641 more minutes! Not that I'm counting..."

"First of all, _we_ don't have anything. FitzSimmons has it."

"Do we really need the semantics right now?"

"Well if you really want to get your hands on it you might want to assess the situation more carefully," he goads, "_now_ whose training is training is a waste of time?"

Another smack. This one's decidedly less playful.

"Will you help me or not?"

"You're asking me to directly disobey my commanding officer's orders."

"You can't tell me you're not at least a little bit curious," she prods, "I mean, it's Captain America's shield! Captain America! The first Avenger!"

"Yes Skye I'm familiar with his work."

"Then you recognize the severity of this situation!"

"Only to the extent that I find your desperation hilarious."

"Well fine then," she huffs, "I'll do it myself."

He takes pity.

"Skye wait, do you even have a plan?"

"I was going to just ask them nicely."

"They're not gonna break Coulson's orders, you have to figure out how to neutralize them for a short period. It can't be too long or they won't get to do what they're supposed to do, but you also have to leave yourself enough time to be satisfied otherwise they'll end up realizing what's happened. Plus, you have to figure Coulson will want to check in on them at some point, so you have to plan for that as well."

He realizes he's said too much as her smile grows.

"Does this mean you're gonna help me?"

No response.

"Come on, you can think of it as a training exercise."

He knows he's defeated.

"Fine, just keep it quick."

* * *

The plan is simple: Skye goes in to distract them while Ward sneaks up and administers two very modest tranquilizers. At their size, they should be out for an hour. 90 Minutes, tops. He tells her to leave a note explaining that she just couldn't resist playing with it in case Coulson came by.

"_With Skye, borrowed the shield for a training exercise, won't be long—Agent Ward._"

She silently laughs mischievously.

* * *

"What do we do first?" He asks.

"Don't you want to throw it? See if it's really as bouncy as they say?"

"It's a shield, it's not bouncy."

"Then how does he throw it off of walls?"

His curiosity gets the better of him.

"I guess we're about to find out."

She stands back, giving him room to step into the throw. He tries to flick it like a disk, only with far more power. It ends up cutting the punching bag in half.

"It's a sidearm delivery," she mocks, "you can't treat this like some game of frat ultimate frisbee on the quad."

"Then you try," he miffs, "and there are no frats at the academy."

"Says the guy who once drilled a 25-foot beer pong shot with his eyes closed."

"Excuse a Level-7 S.H.I.E.L.D agent for having some coordination. And you're wasting time."

"Fine," she stands at position, shield held securely in place. She throws. It barely reaches the wall.

"Would you like to try the kiddie version?"

"Oh shut it."

"Here let me try again."

This time he's ready. He stands exactly as Cap would, taking two quick steps before thrusting forward. This time, it flies off his arm like a jet, hitting the wall at just the right angle before zooming right back to him. He catches it gracefully, effortlessly, as if he's been using it for years.

"Impressive. Someone's been practicing. Didn't realize you were such a fan," she ribs.

"Says the girl who does Iron Man cosplay."

"Two times!"

He shoots her an eyebrow.

"Ok four if you count the days immediately after New York but EVERYONE was doing it!"

"I bet you looked nice with a goatee."

"Well someone's a charmer."

"Only for you."

They're lost in silence for a moment that lasts just a bit too long.

"What else do you want to do with it?"

"Do you have a gun?"

"Is that a rhetorical question?"

"Let's see how indestructible this thing really is."

"You want to shoot it?"

"No, I want _you_ to shoot it, while I hold it."

"You want me to shoot a real gun at you?"

"I have Captain America's shield! You might as well be shooting the Hulk! Besides I have to actually deflect things to get the full experience. Otherwise... what's the point?"

"That doesn't mean I'm willing to open fire on someone who can't even throw a shield 10 yards."

"Afraid you'll miss me?"

"No."

"Is someone a little chicken?"

"No, is it so wrong that an S.O doesn't want to hit his rookie?" He asks, a bit too possessively.

"Bock bock bock becowwwwk!"

"Fine just stand back."

She smiles deviously. He's too easy sometimes. She stands somewhere between 25 and 30 feet back to make sure there's no chance of recoil, but close enough to give him an easy shot. She didn't relish the idea of explaining a gunshot wound to Coulson.

"Ready?" He asks.

"Whenever you are."

He fires a single shot straight at the shield. At the moment of impact, it collapses to the floor.

"Holy crap did you see that?"

"It just fell to the ground, almost immediately."

"Try a few more."

Several shots fired in immediate succession produce the same result.

"Oh my god this thing is amazing! Screw Captain America this shield is the real Avenger!"

"I definitely wouldn't mind if FitzSimmons found a way to make one of these for us."

"We'll have to convince them not to give this one back."

They start walking back towards each other a bit too briskly. There's something about firing a gun at someone that just gets the adrenaline rushing.

"That'd be pretty tough. It is the only vibranium in the world after all. It'd be missed. I doubt they want to be known as the scientists who took it."

"I don't know, I can be very persuasive," she holds the "v" just a bit too long. They're now only inches apart. He's not complaining.

"Anything else you want to do with the shield?"

"I can think of something."

Her lips are on his before the shield hits the ground. They jump from zero to 60 in a matter of seconds as his cupped hands rush down from her face onto her sides. Moments later, he pulls her down to the ground, forcefully making out on top of the shield as she melts into his powerful body. Suddenly, they hear a distinct pop.

"What was that?"

"It can't be the shield."

They look in horror at the very clear dent in the lower right hand corner.

"Oh my god did we dent it?"

"It's Captain America's shield! It doesn't dent!"

"Well then what the hell are we looking at?"

"I don't know but that's not a dent."

"Well fine then smart ass how the hell are we going to fix this non-dent?"

"I don't know, let's try to bang it out or something."

"It's Captain America's shield not a used Prius!"

"Do you have a better idea?"

They desperately try to bump out the dent with their hands to no avail.

"Crap crap crap Coulson's gonna be so mad," she's panicking.

"Coulson? What about Captain America? Look at what happened to the last guy who pissed off the Avengers."

"Oh my god this is how I'm gonna die isn't it?"

He pauses to think for a moment. Keep a calm and focused mind. That's what he teaches her. That's how you solve problems.

"Wait! I have an idea. Is there a plunger on this plane?"

"Yes, but there's only one."

"Why is that a problem?"

"It's been used..."

* * *

"We never speak of this again," he orders. She complies.

"We never speak of this again."

They arrive back at the lab just as Coulson rounds the corner to check on FitzSimmons.

"What are you two doing with the shield?"

Skye panics. Ward is cool.

"We decided to give FitzSimmons a break while we gave it a quick wax. Cap gets it pretty dirty you know."

He eyes them suspiciously before brushing it aside.

"Nice work you two. Have FitzSimmons update me on their findings when they get a chance."

"Of course sir."

He turns around to leave before glancing back for a moment.

"Oh and Ward?"

"Yea?"

"Why don't you two give Cap the shield back tomorrow? He can't see me after all."

He sees the quick jolt of fear in Ward's eyes and laughs to himself.

"Leave FitzSimmons a note explaining why you took it so they don't think it was Centipede or something."

"Got it."

"_Sorry about knocking you out. It was only for an hour or so, I wanted to mess around with the shield. It was all my idea—Ward._"

* * *

"Captain Rogers, here's your shield back. Thank you for loaning it to us for the day. It proved quite informative."

"Don't mention it," he offers while examining the shield, "something feels... off."

"Must be the science stuff," Skye jumps in, "you never know what those two are cooking up in the lab."

He eyes them cautiously before deciding that there probably wasn't any foul play aboard a S.H.I.E.L.D vessel.

"Well thank you," he continues, "I'm glad I could help."

He jumps in his car and drives off.

"We never speak of this again?"

"We never speak of this again."

Their silence is comfortable.

"It is a shame though. I'm gonna miss that shield."

"Yea, I'd love to have one in the field."

"Oh I'm not talking about it as a weapon."

"You're not?"

"No," she breathes, "now we need something new to make out on."


End file.
